Third Wheel Situation In Bali

This story happened while Arsene and I were in the middle of a ten-day daygame immersion holiday in Bali.

Yes, you've read that right, Bali. The yoga island in Indonesia. Not your usual destination for meeting girls in the street. But Arsene and I decided to give it a shot. So in-between hiking volcanoes and snorkelling around wrecks, we did do approaches in restaurants, a few stops in Ubud and even on the beach.

We had started with Seminyak which is what you do when you go to Bali for the first time. Then you realise it’s overcrowded and unpleasant and you start visiting the Northern coast, Ubud or Lembongan. Our strategy was clear: book a cheap hotel near a luxury one so that we can enjoy a five-star breakfast buffet every morning.

It was a weekday in the evening around 10pm and we decided to give a go to a large fancy rooftop bar. The bar was nice but completely deserted. We sat in a large oval sofa, ordered drinks and some finger food. Apart from maybe one or two couples hidden in some corner, we were the only people there.

Soon three Caucasian girls appeared out of nowhere and decided to sit with us. They looked like they had started drinking a while earlier and were in full party mode. We mingled on the oval sofa and everyone started chatting. They were from the Netherlands travelling around South East Asia.

Because they had turned up out of the blue I got a bit paranoid and made sure I settled our bill separately with the waiter before anyone started ordering anything. I have those built-in overcautious alarm bells whenever I get unsolicited female attention.

We were sitting on a circle sofa and because of the configuration each one of us was facing just one girl at a time. Her names were Benthe, Femke and Lotte. Quickly Benthe started to flirt with Arsene and Femke with me. The consequence? Lotte was being left out. This is often how some people can turn into frustrated candle holders [literal translation from the French tenir la chandelle. Imagine someone sitting next to a flirting couple: the only thing to do is to hold the candle]. And that’s exactly what happened: Lotte, who was stuck in the middle, was getting more and more challenging during the conversation, borderline nasty. To put it bluntly, she turned into a proper cockblock. Really that was our fault and we should have been more inclusive. But hey, we are just single-tasking guys.

In the course of the conversation they mentioned they started their Asian tour as a group of four but they ditched the fourth girl because -and I quote- “she was fat.” Something was not quite right in their group dynamic.

At one point we all got up to leave the bar. I was holding Femke by her waist while Arsene was flirting with Benthe. By the lift I was talking to her softly, looking straight in her eyes. When we got off the lift, looking for the main road I said, “Let’s go this way” pointing at the garden.

“No, this way!” Lotte shouted, showing the opposite road going down the garage. Both ways were leading to the same road but the garden was more scenic.

“Ok let’s go that way,” I agreed.

“No let’s go that way then,” she screamed pointing at the garden. Over the top.

“Your friend doesn’t really have a good sense of orientation,” I said to Femke.

“She thinks you’re staying in the hotel.”

Once we reached the road along the beach, there were only two ways to go: North or South. They had no idea where they were heading but Lotte made sure that it was the direction opposite to us. Before saying goodbye, I suggested my girl to exchange Facebook. Lotte heard that and screamed, “Don’t give him your Facebook!”

We headed North to our Seminyak hotel and they disappeared in the opposite direction.

In a different context I’m sure Lotte would have been a very nice person but on that particular night she didn’t show her best side. What can we learn from this story? In a group situation, always make sure no-one feels left out.