The Little Routines of Matt and Arsene

Arsene and I are used to starting conversations with strangers in the Tube, Pret-a-Manger or the airport baggage collection area. On a good day the conversation might turn into a date: sitting down immediately in a coffee shop or meeting up around a drink later after some texting. This is all nice and well but how do we eventually invite a girl back home?

At one point in the conversation we have to say:

“Let’s go to my place for some tea.”

“Let’s go to my flat and watch a movie.”

Or simply “Let’s go back home.” (no justification given)

I practiced the lines above but they are a bit hit and miss, none of them works all the time. There is one routine however that always worked for me so far: meeting up for dinner in a local food place. I know a good one in my neighbourhood that is a little bit hip and has a cute cartoony decor. Food is not expensive and they have wine too. Not a good place to kiss though: it’s too bright and crowded for that and the seating is not comfortable. Yet it’s fine for building comfort and by the time we are done with our wine I usually say, “Good let’s get a takeaway dessert and have it at my place.”

My flat is just a one-minute walk away. I have never had a girl say no to the invite. If she did say no, I would still buy two portions of the dessert, say goodbye and have the cakes at home. There is no bad outcome.

Then once home, what to do?

I live in a place with an interesting feature: there is a TV encased in the wall of the bedroom, right in front of the bed. It’s a comfy feature but I never watch movies in bed. On my own that is. However, when someone visits this gives us a choice between watching the movie on the sofa or in the bedroom. The bedroom is clearly a better option: it’s larger and more comfortable.

So what happens when I bring a girl back home for the first time with our take away dessert? We sit on the sofa, start watching a movie, eat and if things start getting naughty then we may move to the bed. Sometimes I take a risk and suggest to start watching in the bedroom directly -often she says no.

A female friend of mine who used to come over often laughed every time she saw my iTunes purchases: most movies said “Resume or start again.”

“You only have half-watched movies on iTunes. What happened?”

Arsene’s routine is even better because it includes both an excuse to go back home and something to do. It is based around a dessert too but he added a twist: he learned how to bake lava cake (called in French mi-cuit au chocolat).

One day he came to me and asked, “Matt do you know where I can buy a cake mould?” He got the equipment, looked up the recipe, trained at home and after some trial and error he mastered the art of oven-baking the mi-cuit au chocolat. 

He uses it this way: on the first date after a drink he would ask

“Have you ever tried lava cake? Let’s go back home I’ll bake one for you.”

or as a WhatsApp invite

“Let’s meet on Friday evening, I’ll bake you the Arsene lava cake special.”

It gives everyone an excuse and it’s a great build-up: there is something sexy about the warm moist chocolate dripping slowly when she cuts through the hard crust with her fork. It works at many levels. If she declined the invite, Arsene would not waste the ingredients: he would still bake the cake, eat some of it and bring the rest to friends the following day.