Small Losses, Big Win

I started 2019 with a resolution: to do at least ten approaches a week. My first sticking point is approach anxiety. It’s a shame because I always noticed that once I managed to get over it and approach girls, good things always follow. Not because I am particularly good at daygame, but because I am convinced that without being perfect, if you practice daygame from a place of good intentions and fun -as opposed to bitterness, frustration, will to take a revenge on girls who generally rejected you in the past- and if you have basic social skills, empathy, calibration, i.e. you are not a weirdo, you can quickly have results which make you happy. Maybe not as good as advanced seducers but results which make you happier with girls than most guys. So, I started the year thinking: I need to do at least ten approaches a week to start with, it is not asking that much. That will force me to beat my approach anxiety -all daygamers know it never disappears-, it will create beautiful stories and probably make me reach a better level by the end of the year.

At the time I am writing this story, I have not approached in a month. It’s a disgrace, I am not proud. That is ridiculous. Very cool things happened with just ten approaches a week at the start of the year, therefore I have no excuse.

So here is what happened in the first week of 2019.

I was back to the UK after a lovely family time in France for Christmas and New Year holidays. On Thursday 4th January, I left work around 6pm and went to Bond Street. I wandered around for more than thirty minutes with obviously approach anxiety. At some point I decided that I had to approach any girl whether she was hot or not. It had to be done in the next fifteen minutes. Thirteen minutes went by and still no approach despite seeing some beautiful girls. I thought: man up, do something. I went into Debenhams, saw a cute Middle-Eastern girl, smiled at her and asked: “excuse me can I tell you something very quickly?”. She replied something sounding like “sorry don’t speak English”, I started to say slowly “OK, I just…”, she said “sorry” straight away and brushed me off in front of the security guy and the people selling perfumes. I barely had time to say “ok that’s cool have a good evening”. She was already gone. By the way I consider we should never react negatively: I wanted to meet her because she caught my attention. I tried to politely get her attention to give a compliment and she did not care or had no clue what I wanted. Or maybe she was not interested or was in a rush or whatever…fair enough: quick blowouts sting a few seconds as we are not made of stone but that’s fine. A good harsh blowout in front of everyone, what better way to start the year? At least it could only get better from there.

My rule after a harsh blowout: talk to someone very quickly, no matter whom. Two minutes later I was giving a quick compliment to a middle-aged sales assistant who looked a bit surprised but very pleased. It felt good to spread the love and give warmth.

I left Debenhams and walked to Oxford Street and Regent Street. I saw a cute Arabic-looking girl carrying Whole Foods bags. I stopped her just before she crossed the street. She was from Italy with Moroccan origins, she was cool and when the light went green she looked at me as if to say “are you going to keep the conversation going or shall I just cross the street?”. I went blank and did not find anything better to say than wishing her a nice evening. I was still rubbish, rusty and gameless, but it was slowly getting better.

After that too much time went by with no approach and I lost the little vibe I managed to build up so far. I arrived in Covent Garden, walked past Pret a Manger, and a homeless guy with a big contagious smile looked at me and said “mate, come on, smile”. I said hi to him and kept walking. After a few seconds, I came back and asked if he wanted a hot drink. Talking to him improved my mood. While ordering the drink from Pret I must have been friendlier than the average customer because the waiter gave it to me for free. It felt a bit strange to give a homeless guy a drink that I got for free. Anyway, I chatted with him and left in a much better mood than I was five minutes earlier. This was a paradox: he was homeless and my general life situation was better than his. Though he was the one who improved my mood. I often saw him in that street and he always had this incredible vibe impacting positively anyone who walks by. If I was cynical I would say he had an agenda and he gamed me to have a drink. Maybe, I don’t care: he helped me that day, fair play to him. I still see and chat with him, I don’t know his whole background and what lead him to spend the day outside Pret a Manger but this guy has skills, probably more than many people with well-paid jobs.

A few minutes later, thanks to this guy, I had no hesitation talking to an Italian girl who was waiting for her Uber. She was cute but I did not like her teeth so I wished her a nice evening after a quick chat. Then I approached an Indian girl who was cool but gave me the boyfriend objection. Fair enough. Going back to the Tube I must have radiated a really good mojo because a cute mixed race girl gave me a look and smiled. I smiled back, gave her a quick compliment and wished her a nice evening.

First day of 2019 summary: no number but I spread the love and improved my mood progressively which got me a smile from a cute girl. We are getting there. Looking forward to the next day.

Friday

I did a few approaches, quick chats but nothing incredible. Sometimes it was just me not being so interested. Around Covent Garden a Middle-Eastern girl gave me a look. I approached her as she was about to cross a busy street, in the middle of a group of people who could hear and enjoy my opener as much as her. She loved it, gave me a great smile and we flirted. As Krauser explains in his book Daygame Infinite, she was interested but not available. She told me she had a boyfriend and was not sure about meeting me as he would not be happy. Usual case of “I like him but is it a good thing to do?”. She gave me her number as at this moment the fact she enjoyed the discussion took over. But with no surprise, with the euphoria of the moment gone, she flaked when I texted her the next day. Fair enough, I am still improving.

Saturday

In the morning after the gym I approached and number closed a mixed race girl who was working in an art gallery. It was not on at all and the conversation was lame. It’s funny how people working in art sometimes give the impression of having less inspiration, less banter than an accountant. Maybe they are just good at one thing and that’s it. For the rest they are just boring. Maybe it was just me being boring as well and not letting her feel comfortable. Anyway…

That day I could see my vibe clearly improved after the earlier approaches of the week. A hot half Lebanese half Moroccan girl smiled at me in Bond Street. She was with a friend. I stopped her, called out the look she gave me and she loved it. Her friend however really looked “as friendly as a prison gate”(literal translation of a French expression meaning she was extremely cold). I flirted with her but was too nice to keep it going as I did not want to bother the friend. But why so nice? Why not go on since she was enjoying it? Sorry about the unhappy friend who does not know how to smile. At least I could have suggested to go for an instant date, after which she could have gone back to her friend if she wanted. Anyway we swapped numbers but it was all about attraction, not enough rapport and obviously she flaked. I would not be surprised if her friend made a good job of “breaking sugar on my back” (talk me down, another translation of a French expression)straight away after the interaction.

Ten minutes later, here we go again: another big stare from a Saudi girl in Selfridges. I had no hesitation to approach her with her cousins around (all girls, no men), we chatted for one minute and we swapped numbers. She was leaving the next day, it lead to nowhere but still good for confidence. It was getting better and better.

So far that week I had a good sample of daygame approaches, especially for the average daygamer that I am: blowout in front of people looking at you, chats with girls not interested or not available, chats with girls that I myself did not find that attractive as I got closer, stupid auto-ejections with girls I liked and number-closes leading to flakes. That is not covering all cases. One case for example was missing, it’s not the most common one: the “set of glory” as Krauser calls it. Who knows? One day left.

In the evening, I went back home and a girl I was seeing casually came to visit.

Sunday

I had already reached my target of ten approaches for the week. Again, not a high target but after two weeks of Christmas/New Year hibernation, I was happy.

I had brunch with a friend, her partner and their two kids. I enjoyed the brunch and the company of the family. I played with the kids and left in a happy mood. It’s important to have a social life: it’s not all about trying to spend sexy time with hot girls.

I went to Bond Street. I was about to cross the street in front of Victoria secret when I saw this girl going out of the shop: long legs and beautiful tan face. She was swinging her hips and looked like a Latina. I got approach anxiety and hesitated. I walked closer to talk to her but shat myself. What a coward, loser, boohoo. However she noticed me and smiled. Come on mate you have to do something. So I went for it. She gave me a welcoming look as I opened her. She was Latina indeed and did not speak English very well so we talked in rudimental Spanish. It was extremely on so the words were useless. We were in a bubble and standing very close to each other. It’s hard to explain but sometimes it’s just like this: we both know straight away that we are attracted to each other. She received a phone call from her family who was waiting for her at Oxford Circus. She told me she had to go and was leaving the next day but suggested to swap numbers to meet when she would come back to London.

This is when the magic happened: she came very close to me as we were swapping numbers. We were about to say goodbye with our faces getting closer and closer. So I decided to try something I should have tried in a similar situation with a Brazilian girl a few months earlier and regretted I didn’t. Instead of trying to kiss her after only two minutes of discussion in a language I could barely speak, I thought it was more calibrated to do a test first. So I said slowly “to tell you goodbye, I would like to kiss you”. I looked at her, took her hands and said in Spanish mixed with Portuguese, which we call in France the Portugnol-I used to have a Brazilian girlfriend:

“Espera..hmm…para dizer adios..hmmm..eu queiro un besote”.

She smiled so I leant forward and kissed her. In the middle of the street while families of tourists were passing by, we started making out passionately with tongues, having met only two minutes earlier. It was magical. As she walked away, she looked back several times to wave at me and send kisses in the air. At this moment I felt I was the King of the World. No one in this world could have felt any happier than me. It was just impossible, literally impossible. This was it, I was sure, not open to debate: I was officially the King of the World for the next few minutes. Ok maybe I am biased, let’s check one thing: was there at this exact same time any football player, captain of the National team, receiving and lifting the World Cup? No, there was not. Last time it happened it was Hugo Lloris. I remember very well, it was on the 15thJuly 2018 and I enjoyed it too. But it was not that same day. So, officially, no one could have felt better than me at this moment on this first week of January 2019, I am absolutely positive about this.

Five minutes later I was walking with a smile to my ears when I received a text from her in some Google-translated English:

“How sad I did not meet you the first day”

It seemed like she enjoyed the moment too.

I replied we could still meet in the evening and after a few texts we arranged to meet later.

I was waiting for her at Oxford Circus at 8pm. She was a bit late and in the meantime I could see a group of daygamers passing by. One got a blowout from a girl; fair play to you mate, I know what it is.

She arrived with the same joy and great energy she had a few hours earlier. I took her to a bar to have wine and straight away we were all over each other. We exchanged a bit of info with Google Translate, a bit of basic Spanish and English but we didn’t care that much. We were just attracted to each other. She described her job in Spanish but I did not really understand. After about thirty minutes in the bar I suggested to go to my place. She agreed but had to go to her hotel first. We took a cab to her hotel. She made me wait in her room while she was talking to her family. I was there in her room, on the bed with the Victoria Secrets bags… It was surreal. She came back into the room and was ready to leave.

Back at my place it was on. Oh I knew she had a great butt but I quickly discovered her boobs were great too, firm, pointing forward and still natural. What a body! She would tell me later she had done modelling in her late teens. I would have been surprised if she hadn’t.             The sex was great. The good thing with Latinas is they express their pleasure with Spanish words I love to hear. That’s it for the details. I prefer giving details for stories where I mess up. Matt and I wrote enough stories where we shamelessly shared how we messed up during sex, you’ll be able to check out a few of those in our book.

After sex I remember this moment when I was on the sofa and she was leaning forward on the table, playing some music on her phone for me, with her butt sticking out. Every move, every pose of this girl was sensual.

I suggested to bake my usual mi-cuit au chocolat, which would be the second pleasure. She jumped on me, kissed me and said: “ah yes I love chocolate, and then I want a third pleasure”.

I made the cake and we ate it. This was great. I love those simple things.

After the cake we had sex again. What a beautiful evening; it’s so nice when stars align. It was quite late on a Sunday night and it was time for her to go back to the hotel. This stupid Addison-Lee app could not work so I just went out with her to find a cab. A fox trotted by and we had fun following it. People who visit me are always surprised to see foxes in town. A cab finally came, she took it and the last thing I saw of her was her hands making a heart shape to say goodbye.

The next day I had this interesting feeling: I was feeling so satisfied that to some extent I was like emasculated. I would see beautiful girls on my way to work or on my way back but would not feel horny at all. I just really felt like I had everything I wanted. When commenting the French victory at the World Cup 1998 Thierry Roland said: “what a blast, I think after I have seen this, I can die in peace, still the later the better, but I can die in peace.” In Italy they say “see Naples and die”. Well, I don’t want to die now but I had a similar feeling that day. By the way I concede: the reason why I got so excited and satisfied is also because it was my first same day lay from daygame. See, it took me a while since I started.

She sent me a picture of herself mimicking someone sad as she was at the airport about to leave.

I heard a few seducers make an analogy between daygame and poker -I don’t know who gets the credit for saying it first: it is mostly small losses but when you win, you win big, really big.

I loved her feminine energy and I think she enjoyed the experience as well;)