Dilemma: Sweet Love or £600 Flight?

I was on holiday in Singapore. As usual for a Friday night, Matt, Kostas -another good friend- and myself were going out in Club Street. It’s a short pedestrian street full of busy bars where young professionals gather over a drink on Fridays.

Most people wear business attire: girls wear elegant dresses and men are smart casual. On some nights if I was dressed like those guys, there would be waterfalls on my back. A shirt initially light blue would progressively be divided in two colours: light and dark blue, with the latter taking over more territory as the night goes on. Maybe it’s a question of getting acclimatized but for me the only clothes I can wear in this part of the world with a minimum of dignity are Bermuda shorts and a tank top. I look like a chav among those elegant people, or like a guy who has done some effort at the gym and who can finally show off his muscles to the world. I absolutely love it. If you were to guess my origin from the clothes you would say I am a French dude from the North of France (known for being the chaviest part of the country) or a British guy from Essex, or an American guy coming from…well, any part of the United States really. Note that at least my Bermuda shorts stopped above the knees, I avoided the cargo or the mid-calve Bermuda, which I confess I wore a few years ago, painful memories…. That night I was a relatively fashionable chav because instead of my usual Uniqlo tank top which I have in all colours (white, grey, khaki, navy, black), I was wearing a San Antonio Spurs knockoff jersey I bought in Bali a few days earlier, with the number 9 and the name of good old French player Tony Parker written at the back -if you are not French and not into basketball, you may not know him, but you know his ex-wife for sure, just Google it.

That night we went to our usual bar to say hi to a waitress we got to know over the years. We sat at a table outside, ordered a glass of wine. Perfect spot to watch the beautiful girls walk by and go talk to them. Matt is particularly good at approaching groups and inviting them back to the table. That is what happened pretty quickly as we started the evening. Matt came back with two elegant girls who sat with us. Two girls, three guys. Our mate Kostas is very social and could easily entertain the friend of the girl Matt liked. So while all the four of them were busy talking I was free to go and wander around. I walked past a table with two girls just outside the bar next to ours. I made strong eye contact with one of them, she looked Eurasian and was stunning. Her friend was quite hot too. Anyway, I did not have the courage to talk to them. I did a short walk and went back to our table. Since our tables were quite close, we could see each other and we started making eye contact again. This time I had no excuse: when her friend left for the bathroom, I thought come on mate, let’s go talk to her.

So here I went, with my Bermuda and my San Antonio Spurs jersey, to approach this sexy girl who was all dressed-up with high heels and great perfume. We started chatting. She was half European half Filipina and had a job as a commercial model. Honestly my game was rubbish: I had little banter and a voice inside me was saying “mate you are so boring, can you say even more predictable things?”. It did not look like a great set at all.

Next to her table were three expat dudes. They were literally staring at us and listening to everything. In this case maybe I should just not care and think yeah guys you had all the time to talk to her and you did not, now look at me do it. But it’s not really my spirit. I am happy I can now overcome the fear of talking to attractive women but I don’t necessarily have to look down on guys for not doing it. This is because I was one of them before -and still am sometimes. Moreover, I had no idea what they were thinking: maybe they thought it was great, maybe they were jealous, or interested, inspired, or whatever. No need to make a big deal out of it but I have to say I got a bit distracted.

On top of this a guy turned up, looking confident, and he clearly knew her. She looked excited to see him and it sounded like they were meeting the following Tuesday. He then left and she explained he was a photographer and she had a shooting planned with him. I knew the friend was supposed to come back at any moment so we swapped numbers. The friend came back, I made sure I included her in the discussion, stayed a few more minutes and wished them a nice evening. I was pretty sure it would be a flake.

I finished the evening in another bar with Matt and the girls he had previously approached. They were quite fun, and I think Matt had a date with the one he liked a few days later.

The next day I texted Miss Eurasian to suggest a meet. I could not be bothered with spending time texting back and forth, I had no time for that. To my surprise she replied she was working on an event that Saturday night but suggested to meet on Sunday before my flight. Another proof we don’t have to be perfect to attract a hot girl.

We met on Sunday as planned, she came to the date nicely dressed as expected. I took her to a bar Matt recommended and after thirty minutes of light teasing and comfort, we were making out heavily. I sent a text to Matt to let him know I was about to take her back to the flat. We jumped into a taxi.

On the way to Matt’s place we had an interesting conversation about the fact I was not a big fan of Filipina girls but funny enough I started to see a pattern about half Filipina girls, as she was the third half Filipina I found hot, after Vanessa Hudgens and Nicole Scherzinger. A few years later my weakness for mixed Filipina girls would be confirmed as I would date a French Filipina in Singapore. That is for another story.

We arrived at Matt’s place. While I was in the toilets I let her watch a video Matt had just edited from our last holiday in Thailand and Borneo. The usual routine: give her space, make her feel comfortable at home and show I am a pretty normal guy that has a life and will not jump on her. On the sofa we made out heavily again with hands wandering. I took her to the bedroom and it was on.

And this is where I messed up: I realised it was almost time to call Matt, return the keys, finish packing and run to the airport to catch my flight to London. One will interpret it the way he wants but the fact is I like foreplay -going down on a girl- and I did not feel like having a quickie. I actually expressed it when I said “look I want to have sex but I don’t want to make it in five minutes”, she replied “I want to have sex with you too but not in a rush”. Oh yes I know: an alpha male would have ignored that, given her the best time of her life with an intense deep strong masculine penetration in two minutes chrono, which she would have remembered all her life. OK I get that, I will play it like Billy Bob Thornton with Halle Berry in Monster’s Ball another time. In the meantime, call me Jason Biggs if you want, I don’t care too much.

I called Matt to tell him he could come back. She stayed with me as I was finishing my packing in a hurry. Matt arrived, I took my luggage, and the three of us went downstairs. I called a taxi for her. At that point I made a mistake: I gave her money for the taxi despite her telling me there was no need. The same old error: we think it’s a gentle thing to do but actually it can make her feel like an escort – no judgment to do here but this is just not necessarily what she wanted.

Before taking the taxi, she said we could meet next time I was coming to Singapore, at one condition: that she was still single. I flew back to London and we stayed in touch briefly afterwards. We both had spent a good evening together.

More than half a year later, I texted her to meet as I was passing through Singapore, she replied she was in a relationship and kindly declined.

Another year passed and I briefly met her in Club Street. We chatted for two minutes but by then the magic had gone. She looked stunning though and I walked back to my friends thinking I can’t believe two years ago I was lying in bed with this girl…