Charity Guys Ruin My Date

I was on a date with an Italian girl. The initial interaction had been short: I number-closed her in two minutes. She liked how direct I was and agreed to a coffee date before her gym session. She was a gym bunny and really serious about not skipping sessions along with being serious about nutrition and being vegan.

To be honest this vegan/gym addiction is not a good sign that someone will be great fun for me. And it does not only apply to girls. Maybe it is a limiting belief I have, happy to be proved wrong. I am really bored of fitness/nutrition discussions, even though I go to the gym almost every day for breakdance and even though I sort of pay attention to what I eat.

The date started cold but I progressively made her feel relaxed. In the end she was late for her gym session and wouldn’t have time to do all the exercises she had planned. Before she left I spiked the conversation saying I read somewhere that French kissing was a good way to spend energy and lose calories -I realise how cheesy that sounds, shame on me. She could try that to make up for the shorter gym session. She smiled and said she had never tried making out with a French guy and that would be a first. To flip the roles and not look too keen, I replied, “I think you should not try with me. French guys are not reliable you know, they will break your heart.”

I took her to the station and we walked arm in arm, I could see she was starting to feel good with me. In front of the station we got close, looking at each other. I knew it was a bit too early but as we were about to say goodbye, I leant in and tried to kiss her. She avoided the kiss saying with a smile that I was too forward. It was the kind of rejection that said “I like you but I will not let you kiss me at first try.” Smooth rejection. We were still close, like a couple about to kiss, looking at each other. There was sexual tension. I smiled saying the good old “my job to try, your job to resist.” We were making this nice moment last when a guy appeared and started mumbling a pretty long sentence which really meant “can you please give me money?”

No problem about that mate. I guess I am like most Londoners: sometimes I feel like giving, sometimes not. But really? Now? It is just not the right moment. Can't you see it?

I didn’t want to ask him to leave, there was no need to be unpleasant, I just said something like, “Look mate, sorry we have no change.” He didn’t get it and stayed next to us. I said, “Ok, mate, we’re having a nice moment right now, it is a bit private, cheers.” He went away and she said, “Wow he totally ruined the moment.”

“Yes I know what can we do?”

She replied, “Well, that's OK there will be other moments.” It was nice to hear.

With all due respect for this guy who did not mean any harm, I was slightly pissed off that he did not have the social skill to avoid interrupting two people who obviously looked like they were having a private moment. Anyway, I said goodbye to her and was a bit annoyed that the last seconds of this first date were ruined. Though obviously I cannot blame him and cannot say he was responsible for this date not finishing with a kiss as I wanted. Nobody knows what would have happened without him interrupting. 'The answer blows in the winds' as Bob would say.

On my way back home, I thought this situation was new to me and did not know how to handle it. I then thought about Mandela's quote “you win or you learn” and tried to see what I learnt and what I could do next time it happens.

But anyway, it's not like it happens very often, what is the probability of it happening again say in the next six months? It's not as if there was a conspiracy in London, with a leader gathering all people asking for money and exhorting them, “This week, if you see a guy talking to a girl with a French accent, and if he is tall, very good-looking and extremely sexy, go and interrupt him.”

A few days later, I was having a nice chat with a girl and guess what -you saw it coming: a charity guy turned up -surprise surprise- and started giving a speech. Yes, this is official: there is a conspiracy and these guys have been intensively trained at recognising and interrupting me. With all due respect for what you do, can't you see it is not the right time now? I started to feel like Ben Stiller in The Heartbreak Kid when he keeps getting interrupted by a Mexican band -Google Heartbreak Kid Mexican band and you will see the scene I have in mind.

But this time I was prepared.

I told him with a smile, “Look, actually I just asked her if she wants to marry me. She is literally about to give me her answer, it is a very special moment.”

He was cool with it. “Oh ok, good on you, all the best” he said and he left smiling. Then I told her, “If you say yes I am taking you to Vegas, we will be married by a priest looking like Elvis.” This time I managed to handle the situation and make it fun for the three of us. I like win-win situations: no need to blow anyone off.