How to Flip a Low Vibe

It was mid-march. I was recovering from a surgery I had in February. The London weather was cold, I had spent one month not doing any daygame except taking a quick semi-flaky number from an American girl: she answered the feeler but then went radio-silent, and I was too lazy to chase.

So, here I was, back to daygame, with obviously, surprise surprise, a massive approach anxiety. I started with quick compliments, talked to two girls who were just my type and for no reason whatsoever I auto-ejected.I ended the week with a Moroccan tourist: I gave her the award of “top Selfridges shopper of the month” because she was walking around with a bunch of yellow Selfridges bags. We spent ten minutes talking in the middle of the street, and then we walked for a bit, we exchanged numbers...which lead to nowhere. That’s alright, I was getting there slowly.

The following Tuesday I left work for a daygame session after 6pm. My vibe was very low. It took me one hour to eventually decide to give a -weak- compliment to a girl about her fancy shoes. I didn’t feel any attraction, I just needed to socialise. Baby steps, talk to someone. I could have just as well asked a man about the breed of his dog, it didn’t matter. At least I talked to someone and praised myself for it: “wow amazing you talked to someone for ten seconds after an entire hour of daygame, youpi youpi yeah”.

Around twenty minutes later I saw a tall red-hair with big blue eyes and beautiful facial features, walking and looking around like a dreamy tourist enjoying beautiful London. I thought “fuck it, let’s go and talk to her” (thanks Tom Torero and Rami for the fuck it podcast - inspiring). I did a front stop, told her that she looked nice and that I thought I should come and say hi. She looked at me with welcoming eyes but at the same time she was cold in the first minute, a bit like implicitly giving the message “alright, let’s see what you are made of, you have one minute”. You may know what it is: the famous “Russian Minute”. She was from Russia indeed, doing a course in London. As she said she always dreamt about coming to London, I asked her if her dream involved a quick but intense romance with an incredibly handsome, and especially modest, French guy. She giggled and answered no so I suggested to add my part to this dream story. This is where the ice started to break. I was tired so I simply called it out and said “I have been doing the talking so far, but I am tired, come on do your part of the job, tell me something more interesting about you”.

We chatted for ten minutes in the street and since she was about to go back to Russia two days later I thought it made sense to suggest an instant date. I knew a good cocktail bar around and so we went there.

We sat at a table next to each other, logistics were not ideal but not too bad either. I ordered some drinks at the bar and chatted a bit with the cool French waitress. My cute Russian tourist was fun and the conversation flowed easily with “spikes, attraction, comfort” etc.

At some point I went for the kiss and she rejected it, saying I was too direct. Just a few days before I was listening to a podcast by Tom Torero -again, this article starts to sound like a tribute- where he said it was rare when a Russian girl lets you kiss her at first try. So, I took a step back and we kept on discussing. I could feel she liked me despite rejecting the kiss.

As the night was progressing, we were having fun and getting closer and closer. She let me kiss her on the cheek, neck, put my arm around her, but still rejected a few kiss attempts.

At some point, a couple (a good-looking guy and a hot brunette) sat on the sofa behind her. I could see them but she couldn’t. They started making out passionately and at this point I was very turned on. Look at the situation: I was on a date with a girl whom I found fun and attractive, I could see she liked me but I could not kiss her. Meanwhile a guy next to me was making out heavily with his girl, who was hot too by the way, and that made me even hornier.

I went to the toilet and looked at my watch: almost midnight. After three large glasses of white wine with no food I was starting to get drunk. I thought it was time to call it a night.

As I came back the other couple was still making out, I had an idea of using it to my advantage with a chode parody “hey, just behind you, look at them, such a public display of affection, we would not do that, we are good educated people”.

The couple left soon after and I suggested to go use the sofa. She was definitely feeling relaxed with me, never mentioning it was late or anything while we had met four hours earlier. On the sofa, her head was on my shoulder, we were really close, I went for a last kiss attempt and here we were: we started making out heavily, and barely stopped during an hour, with our hands wandering around.

At some point the bar shut down, we left the main room, there was a corridor leading out. We started making out in the corridor, I took her left leg and pushed her towards me, holding her tight, hips against hips. She was quite tall, same height as me, which is another thing I liked about her. And here we were, doing PDA again. We stopped when the French waitress arrived in the corridor. She did not look embarrassed when seeing us, of course she was from France, the country of couples making out passionately in public anytime anywhere in front of anyone. Look at the Coen Brothers short film In Paris I love you with Steve Buscemi in the Parisian metro, they perfectly captured it.

We went out of the bar and I was feeling happy with just taking her to the bus station, kissing her goodbye and going home. I did suggest that she could stay at mine but without real conviction. Why didn’t I have a plan to take her home, why didn’t I try to “close the deal”? Well, I had a great time with her and I was happy to finish it this way. Call it a lack of ambition but I am not so obsessed with this plus one notchthing. Sure, I was attracted to her sexually but also at this time of the night I was just satisfied with the cheeky time I had with her. I was also tired, a bit drunk, and happy to go home.

On one hand I like the feminine energy, I like the process, I like making out, I like doing PDAs, and I never really feel that much frustration if I don’t have sex with a girl I fancy. On the other hand in the case of this Russian girl I could have done with being a bit more audacious. For instance, I could have at least invited her home with a bit more conviction and see if she was up for it. Of course, we can show conviction when inviting, but it goes without saying that the girl is free to decide to follow us on the adventure or stop it there.

We arrived at the station and her bus turned up straight away. I realised we did not exchange contacts so I suggested she waits for the following bus. She happily let this one go. We exchanged numbers, went on making out in the middle of the street, had a few get a room! from people passing by and eventually the bus arrived. We said goodbye.

I tried to get her out before she flew back to Russia, but she was busy doing a bit of networking as she was planning to come back and live in London. I have to be honest with myself here: I guess the magic had gone for her and she was just not interested any more. Fine.

Anyway, yet another story that took me from 6pm, leaving work, feeling a bit like shit, to having a good time with a beautiful stranger. Hell yeah daygame is amazing!